Joy Unspeakable

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"
......................Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

So, I know nothing about BLOGGER! Trying to figure it out is making me insane!

It's soooo sad.....for over a week now we have been slammed at work. No one can really figure out why. The Grants spent 21 hours trying to get out a couple days ago for their Anniversary. Every flight though is over sold, by sometimes more then ten. Which makes it nearly impossable for airlines employees to get out.The sad part is when airline employees should understand this, and they don't and they are just as angry as the full paying revenue people. Which I think is wrong. I've seen the STAND BY list as long as eighty people. I've come home mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Sometimes you can use all your energy on just staying patient and "nice" when people are upset.I've gotton to praying before every flight I do or assit just so I can stay calm and not get worked up. Also, when it's that crazy it's VERY easy to make a mistake.I've had a hard time falling a sleep a few nights because I've been playing back the days events and how I've handled them and how I would change it. Then when I DO fall asleep I dream about it! Haha.......*sigh* Hopefully it'll be over soon.

Well, it's been rainy for the last four days straight. Granted, thats been the way our summer has been. Now though, there is a new chill in the air and leaves are starting to fall. I think for my mission service tomorrow I may make apple cider and pumpkin bars for afterwards. To get us in the fallish mood.=)

Soooooo, I've pretty sure I'm going to be heading for MSP, MN at the end of the month for a revival. It should be really good. I'm not at all excited about flying. I 'm sick of flying! After one really bad one I'm now scared of every bump.

Oh! And then at the end of Oct. I think I'm going to go to Europe again. I'm SUPER excited!!! I'm pretty sure which one, but not positive. It'll will be a cruise....which I enjoy just becasue you see more for your moeny. *sigh* yaaaaa, that will be some long flights though!!!

Yesterday, walking down the terminal you saw people congregating by the televisions watching Sara Palins speech at the GOP convention. I worked the Juneau flight last night and we had to pry people away from the TV to board. Unfortunately, I only got to hear bits and pieces. However, I did find the manuscript and read that. I thought it was well done. No doubt she got the crowds going with her comical and valid jabs at Oboma and his campaign. She made strong points about Americas energy problems....and coming from the Governor of the state that could solve some of those issues, there was no better person to deliver that stance. I know personally, she made me after some doubt, feel like she could handle the position of the VP.

Now, I like Sarah Palin as a person and the things she stands for in her politics. I feel like she was very much a Governor of the people and therefor I am proud of her. There is also a certain pride that also comes along with the fact that she is a woman as well. So,I'll vote for her/McCain when the time comes. However, there is one thing that does bug me and maybe because I AM a women I feel this way. Also, it may be because I feel children are such a special gift from God that I have this OPINION (I say that word strongly). She has five children. One, is a newborn with health issues, one is only 7, one is 14,and there is one that is pregnant at 17. The fact that her family seems to be behind her, and proud of her is commendable. However, as the Vice President of the United States Of America, second to the leader of the free world, how will that effect her children?? Certainly there will be an impact. In this day in age women have had to take on a job just to provide for their families. Other women, chose to have a career, even when their husbands make enough to provide for their families. It is in my opinion, in the cases where money is not the reason, and a career is the goal. That there is selfishness in the act. There are SO many smart women in this world, many who have made tremendous impacts on our society.A modern example would be Condoleezza Rice. Interestingly enough Condoleeza has no children, and also, is not married. With Sara Palin, is she not choosing a career, and YES the chance to make history, OVER the precious and life shaping years with her children???? Can she really balance both, a career and family, on such a high level??? It is the questiont that I can't get away from. What mother of five a "hocky mom" would chose postion and power over her young children??

Ok, so I'm not the brights bulb, but I have my moments in which I surprise even myself. Haha Anyhow, tonight at work they sure did make me feel smart. They made me gate assit. Which means if there is any problems with flights (angry passengers,ticketing problems,count discrepancies, ect.) I'm one, of two to go to. Anyhow,tonight was FULL of issues!!! I feel like though, that I passed some kind of hard test. Every flight went out on time despite all the issues. HA!!!! WAHOooooo! =) Every flight is like a count down. We HAVE to have the door passenger door closed 10 min. prior to departure time to insure an ON TIME out and take off. Lots of time it gets really stressful simply because we only have just a few min. to figure out a problem. I LOVE it though!!! It's a rush!!!

Yesterday, Mom, Dad, me and Jacob Grant went to the fair. Mom and I went off by ourselves and Dad and Jacob went off together. Boy, was it packed!! It was a beautiful day and it was a Saturday....So it was bound to be busy.

This morning I woke up early with my head full and my body aching. I had made scones last night to bring to Sunday School, but it only made 12. So, I was going to run to the store to pick up some more ingredients. I figured though, I would sleep some more and just pick up donuts or rolls at the gas station on the way to church. I woke up a again a 9a and felt like "death" OK...so that was a little dramatic! Anyhow, I didn't go to church. Which I HATE doing! It took an hour just to fall back to sleep because I felt guilty.

I have like NO sick time left and I HAD to be to work at 630p. I took some cold medication and asked to be taken off the concourse, because my brain feels like a pile of mush.

I'm hoping this is a one day flu thing...that tomorrow I'll wake up as good as new.